Good weather and happiness continues

Openlands participated in another school garden dedication this morning for a school in Chicago's Brighton Park neighborhood. What have I learned over the past two days? There are still good kids out there and school principals are charged with a lot of responsibility. 

Great few days out in the sunshine and now looking forward to another summer weekend in the city.

Getting our hands dirty

The nice thing about longer days, more sunshine and 80-degree temperatures is that it really distinguishes the weekend from the workweek. There's a distinct break, which is necessary and nice.

Screen time was limited this weekend - computers were only accessed to find parking for the beach, the hours of the Lincoln Park Zoo and a recipe for la paloma.

I planted my planter boxes - supplemented with a trip to the Home Depot for more plants Saturday morning. Potting soil, garden tools and flowering plants took over our small porch as Jack and Jossie "helped." I'm still in love with my find - the spiky, feathery asparagus fern. The two big beauties I bought at the greenhouse looked perfectly urban oasis-y in my square zinc planters. And I happened upon smaller ones at Home Depot, which the garden expert guy there was raving over. Perfect height for your container gardens, gentle readers.

And I'm a cheat on my tomato plant this summer. Last year, we planted a few little tomato plants given to us by our neighbor. We worked, we pleaded, we prayed. But nothing every happened. So this year, Mama got smart. I bought a plant that's already two feet high and even has a small green tomato in its branches. Brilliant!

We braved the Lake Michigan beach Saturday afternoon. Despite the traffic and the hassle of finding parking, the afternoon was lovely. It was warm and sunny but not overwhelmingly hot. Jack is much braver this year in the water than last as he played with Jeremy, and Jossie enjoyed playing in the sand and sitting like a queen in the beach chair. Jack and I built sand castles, smoothing our hands over the sand, leveling it off to make our creations. It was nice to feel so in the moment with the warm breeze, bright sunshine and downtown Chicago in the far-off distance.

Saturday night, friends came over for take-out bbq. We pulled out the tequila because it was one of those kind of nights. It felt like summer. My girlfriend and I chatted on the porch, the newly planted plants swaying in the breeze, the party lights twinkling and the sounds of the city as the background to our mommy chatter.

And today, my bestie and her husband hosted an art-themed birthday party for their almost-five-year-old daughter. My friend is always so thoughtful, and her details and touches made the day so special for her girl, including a made-from-scratch birthday cake. Jack and Jossie enjoyed being guests at the party, coloring, making chocolate-covered pretzels and painting picture frames. It was a messy and delightful end to the weekend.

Tonight, we're physically tired (a million times better than mentally tired) with sun-kissed arms. Sending good thoughts to you on the week ahead - especially for those of you who conquered the Cleveland marathon or half-marathon this weekend,  for those of you who are starting new endeavors this week, and for those of you celebrating your birthday. Happy week, loves.

Gratitude

I'm pretty sure if City Sweet had an official holiday, it would be Thanksgiving - a holiday built around food and feeling grateful.

And yesterday was a perfect day in New York - sunny and high 50s. We're visiting Jeremy's family, and Jack continued Papa's tradition of heading to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. And my mother-in-law made a perfect turkey (just ask Jossie, who had three helpings and you should see that girl around pumpkin pie - she made her mama proud).

All that said, I didn't have much time for reflection. I've got lots to reflect upon from this past year, but not a lot of focus this day. Jack was acting defiant - I was taking it personally until I realized he was just acting four.  And Jossie clung to me most of the day, like my little baby monkey. I'm still a little sick too - so I took a long nap in the afternoon. The end of the evening, I was curled up in bed with Jack and Jossie sleeping around me, Jossie half-grousing/half-nursing and Jack routinely kicking me in the shins.

Jeremy found us all in bed when he came to bed. He settled Jossie into her travel crib and got ready for bed himself. As he settled in, he said to me (sorry, Jeremy, you're married to a blogger), "Everything I'm thankful for is because of you."

Well, then.

I'm grateful for love.

Summertime...

Today's the stuff that summer is made of - right up there with lemonade stands and fireflies. The weather was hot but not humid, and the sun was shining brightly.

All errands were eschewed for a day out in the sun. Jeremy, Jack and I took Jossie to her first concert - a kid's show at one of my favorite places, Ravinia, an outdoor concert venue. It was a mid-morning show, so we packed some banana bread for a snack and the greatest picnic blanket ever.  We sat in the shade of a tree, boogied a little and let Jossie stretch out.

After the concert, we went to another favorite - the Chicago Botanic Garden for a visit with our friends. I've tried to shy away from making every visit with friends about food lately, so I thought the Garden would be a good start. But we were, of course, all hungry for lunch when we go there and ended up having a lovely long lunch in the Garden's cafe - with some wine and beer - before even setting foot on the grounds. 

If you live in Chicago and have kids, here's a little tip I learned from a friend: You can borrow an explorer's bag from the info desk, complete with binoculars, microscope lens and tree and bird identification manuals. Jack had a ball with his geeked-out backpack when we finally hit the Garden's grounds.

(Jeremy thinks Jack was channeling his inner-Floridian senior citizen with his hat, too-large t-shirt and binoculars around his neck...)

We've been to the Garden about - oh a thousand times - but never seem to hit the English walled gardens, one of our friends' favorite. It was nice to discover a new place. And how could you not have fun with these two?

It's 10:30 p.m. now - I have two brown-haired babies who are completely and utterly sacked out in their crib and bed. It's always nice to be tired because of the sun and fresh air...I will be re-reading this post again in January or February!

What I know

I've started and stopped a handful of blog posts in the past week. Much like my life, my blogging needs some focus. I've been back at work for a bit more than a week now and am moving through each day - babies, work, home, volunteer, sleep a few hours and then repeat.

Here's what I know and am trying to focus on as I take on each new day:

Worrying ain't worth the gray hairs. I'm learning how to work smarter and more efficiently at work - trying to get myself out of the details and I'm grateful for an employer who supports this transition. 

Glad my friends and family still speak to me. Even when I go weeks without calling, they still love me.

I'm thankful for my profession. I'm a better mom because I'm a working mom - I readily admit this. (And it doesn't hurt that we have an awesome caregiver for Jack and Jossie.) I'm glad my work is in the nonprofit sector and while I'm not making a million dollars, believing in what I do means a great deal to me.

Baths are good. I'm not talking about the ones where you wrestle a wet three-year-old, trying to rinse the shampoo out of his hair. I'm talking about the Mommy-only time. Thanks to a special friend for giving this tired mama some great bath bubbles and reminding me to take a moment to myself.

My babies are still more joy than work. Having a preschooler and a newborn is just plain hard.  Jack and Jossie can absolutely beat Jeremy and me up. Sometimes after we've gotten everyone to bed and put away all of the toys, we cannot believe how tired and worn-out we are. And then one of them will call out for us, and we respond. We will always respond.

Kicking myself for not finding this blog sooner. How has this existed and me not knowing about it?

Frittatas are the best brunch food ever for entertaining. This is a food blog after all. Frittatas are truly the perfect food for entertaining - they are impressive-looking, relatively easy to make and can be served hot or room temperature. Brilliant! Here's my current favorite.

I'm glad I decided to take a chance on a blind date. Jeremy and I met 14 years ago this May on a miniature golf blind date at the Par King. I loved him when he was 19, and I really love him now as he turns 33 Friday (and I'm not just saying that because we share a mortgage, two kids and one really fat cat).

I love my really fat cat. Enough said.

                                                                                                                                                                            Photo by Jack.

Ahhh….

We’re getting a preview of spring today…sunny skies and warmer temperatures. The sliding glass door is wide open in our condo, and my morning activities will certainly ensure that we will have another snowstorm in Chicago. I scrubbed the salt from our boots, shook the rugs outside and washed the floors (not too big of a feat – our apartment is small) and put away the flannel sheets. Jack hit the zoo with Maria and soaked in the rays of sunshine and breathed the fresh air.

                                                                                                                 from Maria

Jossie and I went for a long walk this afternoon. I pulled her shade back and let her get a healthy dose of Vitamin D. It was good for our minds and spirits to just walk and walk. We stopped by a Starbucks, and one man exclaimed, “a new baby!” I just smiled. If my two-month-old looks like a new baby then that gives me more time to lose the baby weight!

Preemie moms like their numbers

Preemie moms know dearly the value of a day, a week and a month. Today is a very, very good day. Jossie has officially been home more days than her stay in the NICU. In those 23 days, we have countless cuddles on the couch, book-reading sessions, singalongs, pajama-only days, and monster sightings by Jack.

Rays of sunshine

I was sad this morning.

I know Jossie being born preterm is not my fault. It is not my fault. I admit - I have entertained thoughts to the contrary in the past weeks but I've been pretty successful in squelching them in recent days.

I do, however, get the baby blues sometimes, and if I can't write about them here, where can I? I was sad this morning. My due date of March 7 is coming up soon, and I'm sad that Jossie didn't get those last seven weeks in me to grow and develop. I'm selfishly sad that I  missed a good deal of my third trimester of what will probably be my last pregnancy - of being full of life. And I'm sad I had to have an emergency c-section and feel so out-of-control of Jossie's birth, when I felt so in control of Jack's birth.

It's hard to deal with these feelings. Jeremy continues to comfort me with the fact that we have a healthy daughter who is full of spunk.  When we were in the NICU, I was constantly amazed at the resiliency of the human spirit, exhibited by the little ones. All these little babies want to do is live and thrive - these four-pound and smaller babes in their itty-bitty diapers. If this isn't motivating, I'm not sure what is.

I'm not ready to completely let go of my sadness just yet but I'm thankful to God for reminding me of the good that surrounds me. Today, the sunshine shone brightly and people in Chicago were shedding winter layers to soak in the warmth. This afternoon, as the sunshine streamed through our windows, Jack and I set out the playmat for Jossie, and we had her first-ever tummy time. It went over...quietly. She promptly fell asleep, our sweet girl.

In the late afternoon, Jack half-woke up from his nap and climbed into my bed and promptly fell back to sleep (which, trust me, never happens). I had Jossie cradled in the crook of my arm, Jack snuggled up against my back and Roscoe the cat snoozing against Jack's legs. Surrounded by my babies, listening to their breathing - well, there is nothing sweeter or life-affirming than that.

I'm sad now from time to time. But I will heal. For my family, I will heal. And because of my family, I will heal.

Happy Valentine's Day!

The glad game

Since January 10, Jeremy and I have undergone a journey fraught with emotion - hope, despair, joy, frustration - oh the list goes on and on. Through it all, we've seen so much good and here are just a few of the things that make me happy and keep me going:

• My mom staying with us and keeping our house running and organized
• Jeremy's parents and sister spending the past weekend with us
• My sister and her family visiting tomorrow
• BFFs who call and email to check in and help me out from the downright silly (maxi pad run) to the major (keeping Jack overnight)
• Us planning to order dinner from The Smoke Daddy last night and right before we placed the order, we opened the mail to find a gift card to that exact restaurant from our good friends Alissa and Andy
• This is vain, but having nice maternity clothes bought by my mom and mother-in-law and lent by friends to wear daily (I'm not ready to put on regular clothes just yet)
• Our good friends Emily and Steve considering moving back to Chicago
• Eating dessert at lunch every day (I'm nursing - I can afford the calories)
• A workplace that is very understanding that family comes first
• A husband who is my best friend and my two adorable kiddos

Winter's not so bad

I have to admit - I kind of like the winter months. I'm not the biggest fan of cloudy days, and Chicago has its fair share these these days, but those seriously chilly but sunny days like today are fine by me. We've been spending a lot of time sitting around on the "Mommy's bed" - Jack reading stories or playing games on the iPad and Jeremy and I watching TV or leafing through magazines. This afternoon, we just finished an epic trip to Costco, and our kitchen is filled with economy-sized boxes. Our Christmas decorations are still up because we like the twinkling lights at night.

Everything will probably be put away tomorrow - Monday, our tiny abode will be turned upside-down as we start a renovation project to close off the walls in our loft condo. But for now, it's a cozy sweater for me, matching Jets sweatshirts for my guys, slippers and lots of down time. Happy Saturday!

Thanks for Thanksgiving

This is probably one of the easiest posts I've ever written. Today and every day, I'm grateful for:

• God for giving life.
• My parents for creating a warm family home and giving my sisters and me the gift of empathy.
• My sisters - we have our ups and downs but we'll always be each other's life partners - and their families who keep life full and interesting.
• Jeremy's family for welcoming me as their daughter and sister.
• My closest group of girlfriends who give the best hugs, share the tastiest recipes and provide the strongest support.
• Jeremy's and my network of friends and family spread throughout the country.
• Maria, a stay-at-home mom gone pro, who has cared for Jack as if he were her own and has helped me to find some balance as a working mom.
• A workplace that helps the greater good and coworkers who are friends.
• Good smells from the kitchen, all things Food Network and the celebration of the home cook.
• Quiet moments in the early hours in the morning with a steaming cup of coffee and a sunrise as my only companions.
• Roscoe the cat who waits by the door for our return and keeps my feet warm at night.
• My unborn daughter, whom I pray for good health. 
• My son, my Jack, who is smart, handsome and funny. Whose first word is "Mommy" when he's tired, hungry or sad. Who says "But I'll miss you" when I told him this morning I was going to stay home while he, Papa and Daddy headed to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
• My college sweetheart-turned-husband, who has enough patience for the both of us and whom I love more each day.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Count on your blessings

Stresses at work, runny noses and the mountain of laundry that will never go away - these are the things that can weigh me down and they admittedly aren't even the real big obstacles of life. But they clutter my mind and my day.

We had our good friends in town this weekend, and Emily told me about a workshop she attended where the teacher encouraged them to minimize the bad things to the place they belong to let the good things come through (this is me greatly paraphrasing). It made me think - how often do I dwell on the bad stuff when the good stuff of life surrounds me?

I woke up Saturday morning and even though I've been planning for this day for weeks, I was struck with the thought: I get to spend today with some of my best friends. Emily and Steve were in town from St. Louis; Amy and Mark were joining us as well. Super nanny Maria was watching all of the little darlings so we could head to the Northwestern v. Illinois game at Wrigley Field kid-free. NU may have lost the game but I had a great time catching up with my dearies. We joined up with more friends at the game; basically half of the people who were in our wedding party were seated with us in the stands. Worries melted away; my only complaint that afternoon was that the hot pretzels at the stadium were lukewarm.

My church - Fourth Presbyterian Church - sends daily devotionals and today's was Psalm 103 that basically says "don't miss a single blessing."

During this Thanksgiving, my wish for you (since I pretty much personally know my readership) is to remember what makes life meaningful. Quiet the stresses and anxieties that cloud your mind and reach out your arms. I bet you're met with someone who will hug you back.

Don't merely count your blessings. Count on your blessings. They make life worth living.

I was given permission to rest today

As I try to write down these thoughts, boil a pot of water for Jack's vegetables (frozen vegetables are a beautiful invention), dry a load of sheets in the dryer, I have to tell you: I was given permission to rest today.

I went to Jack and Nate's first Kindermusik class today with Nate's baby sister June and super nanny Maria. We danced, we sang, and we kept the beat. At one point, the teacher instructed parents and caregivers to lie down on the floor to rest. She asked us how many times do our children seeing us sit down during the day, let alone, rest. So I laid there. Jack patted my face as Nate patted my back. They were both wiggleworms and didn't really get what we were doing.  Finally Jack squatted down near my face, and said, "wake up, Mommy!" The teacher implored us to take time at home to sit with our children and just be. As I stood up, I told Maria this class is also doubling as therapy for me.

(We pause for a moment as I put the vegetables into the boiling water.)

So I still have a full list of to do's for tonight but will try to take one minute to relax (and hey, I got not one but two October issues of food magazines today....yes!)....baby steps!

A civilized ending to an otherwise crazy week

It's Friday afternoon, and the temperatures are cooler out. The window and sliding glass door are wide open, and Jack is pushing his trains around the wooden tracks. He's got colorful washable marker streaks up and down his arms from a recent art project. Roscoe the cat is asleep in the sunlight, and he has one orange streak on his fur from aforementioned art project. And I'm finishing up some computer work for the week while planning our Sunday dinner menu with guests. My cookbooks are spread across the kitchen island. I'll go searching for ingredients tomorrow morning at the Green City Market, The Spice House, and, yes, Costco. Happy Friday!

Sunny post

It's 1 p.m. so I say this cautiously: I am having a good day.

I feel like I've been using this blog lately as my therapy to complain about how tired and busy I am. But today is good. Two loads of laundry done this morning before work; set out the cleaning supplies for the cleaning lady (yes, it's my dirty little secret, I have a cleaning lady AND setting out my supplies does make me feel like I've achieved something AND Jack knows her by name and knows she comes when "Gack's house is dirty"); and was able to stop by the farmers' market on my way into the office. (This is my most favorite time of year for local produce - August tomatoes and squash, coupled with the early fall offerings of apples).

Got word my friend had a baby...yea! And having a good day at the office. We learned we got a nice grant for general operations (very rare these days in the funding world), and I had a funder call to see if they could give MORE for a project they're already funding. And just heard from Maria and am getting a good-behavior report on Jack. Thank you!

Fingers crossed and thanks to above for a good day so far. And tonight's taco night...

The most delicious part of the week

I adore Saturday mornings. The work week is officially behind you, and the weekend is spread out before you, heavy with possibility. In the summer, the day might start off with a trip to the Green City Market, and in the fall, we're typically headed to a Northwestern football game amidst the crisp colors of autumn.

Today it is raining, and that's okay. The summer heat has been oppressive - I feel like I can barely breathe outside. My guys are both still asleep, and it's really cozy inside (cozy as it can be with the air conditioning running). Today we're off the Chinatown for some dim sum with good friends and probably some serious afternoon napping. Happy Saturday!

One moment at a time

I've had a lot on mind lately; I apologize for the blogging hiatus. Today, I returned to work after a week off at the beach with lots of sunshine and rest. I was met with an avalanche of email and voicemails that I have yet to fully get through. Today, Jeremy started a new job, and we lowered the asking price on our loft - both on my mind. As I walked through the door tonight, Jack greeted me with a raspy voice (is he getting sick?) and Roscoe the cat has a limp (we have a vet appointment for tomorrow at 9 a.m.). And I made the mistake of looking at my work email at home. Is it Friday yet?

As I finished up the dishes, Billie Holiday was on the satellite radio, and I spied Jack and Jeremy sitting on the porch. Jack had shut the sliding glass door so I could only see - not hear - their conversation. Both were identically slumped in their chairs, and I could see Jack telling his daddy an animated story. It felt good to just smile at this simple moment. This is the good stuff of life. 

(Now I have to go call my middle sister back - I just realized I forgot to wish her a happy anniversary when I talked with her an hour ago.)

My wake-up call

Having a food blog and loving to cook, I am sure you are not surprised that I could shed a few pounds. Being a full-time working mom of a tot, I have always contested that I have no time to exercise.

I'm trying to change that. Got up at 5:30 a.m. this morning and went for a walk (gotta start things slow, people). Forty-five minutes later, I quietly entered our condo but Jeremy and Jack were awake and in full-swing.

I did a few sit-ups as Roscoe the cat rubbed against my head and Jack sat on my stomach.  I got a shower; my husband left me a hot cup of coffee by the sink (which I had kiddingly asked for as I headed to the shower).  Had a chance to read the Wall Street Journal, which touted lower housing interest rates for summer, and eat breakfast with Jack. I even had five extra minutes to write this blog post for goodness sake.

Shoot. So exercise is good for you.

Won't you join me?

I'm easily won over...

The end of last week was just weird in Chicago...local news of suicides, including one quite close to my office, varying temperatures with brutal changes in air pressure, and a weird guy on the L who was surely harmless but just got my radar up. Even silly little things were getting me down, like people consistently not holding the elevator in the lobby of my building, preferring to let the doors shut as I approached them. Bleh. Friday, as the rains continued, I was ready to go home and quit city life for awhile. While I was down, I even got kicked again - receiving a ticket in the mail from the City for running a red light (with a picture of our car as evidence). Awesome.

But, Chicago, you are persistent.

I have seen your beauty this week. Yes, the rainy weather has continued, but one of my coworkers turned my perspective upside down Tuesday morning by calling his early-morning, misty walk through Millennium Park "poetry."  The kind CTA attendant at my L station asked me Monday if I had a nice Mother's Day. This morning, as I walked to the train, I heard an extremely enthusiastic "good morning!" As I looked up, I saw a garbage man, hanging off of the back of his truck, waving to me. Kind of strange but, still, it made me smile. And as I walked across Daley Plaza toward my office, I was met with the first farmer's market of the season. 

Living in a city forces you to face all types of humanity day in and day out. I can't shield my son from all of the bad but I hope I'm giving him the tools to appreciate the good.