My dining room has been turned upside-down since January. While I'm a very neat and organized person normally, my dirty little secret is if I let things go, they go downhill fast.
I've finally caught up on some paperwork, dealing with hospital bills and getting our income tax documents in order. Once I got that important stuff out of the way, I could concentrate on the other messy piles. This morning, I pulled one backpack out I had at the hospital. I just knew there was something in there about Jossie's birth certificate that I should address.
From the backpack, I took out a February Martha Stewart Living magazine, a rumbled bag of chocolate toffee from my friend Marisa, the book I was reading and a hospital notepad. These items had sat by my hospital bedside for two weeks. I had looked at them as I was hooked up for non-stress tests to monitor Jossie's in-utero heartbeat. I had looked at them in the early-morning haze after Jossie's birth. I had looked at them as I packed my bags on the day I was released from the hospital and wondering where I was going to summon the strength to leave without my baby.
I looked at them today and couldn't control my tears. Luckily, Jack and Maria were steps away, and they gave me hugs and support. The sun is shining, birds are chirping, and Jossie is fast asleep in her crib, growing and growing.
I'm not perfectly healed yet, and I know I will have moments like these as the feelings I've packed away come back in little waves. Thank goodness for the coming of spring, Passover and Easter for a sense of renewal. Thank goodness for friends and family. Thank goodness for good health and growing children.