Good weather and happiness continues

Openlands participated in another school garden dedication this morning for a school in Chicago's Brighton Park neighborhood. What have I learned over the past two days? There are still good kids out there and school principals are charged with a lot of responsibility. 

Great few days out in the sunshine and now looking forward to another summer weekend in the city.

My day

My days are filled with lots of have-to's. I have to do a load of whites before I go to bed. I have to clean up the counter after dinner. I have to participate on that conference call. I have to finish a grant proposal before the day is done.

But isn't it nice when we have one day that is filled with want-to's?

I had one of those days - a day of running around Chicago, a city I love, working, learning and living. The day started for me with an Openlands' tree-planting with corporate volunteers in Grandmother's Garden in Lincoln Park. I brought Jack along, and, yes, he complained mightily since the only job he could do was put dirt around the newly planted trees. But it was still nice to have my son by my side and to have him see people working together to make things better.

Lunch was time with one of my mentors and my fellow fundraising colleagues and a reminder of what I've learned so far in my little career. And the food was excellent.

And the end of the day, after literally running into our office and then back out again, was a school garden dedication at Lincoln Park High School. So proud to see the work of my colleagues and the students celebrated.

The weather was beautiful, and I'm happily exhausted.

Carry on

Yesterday I was recognized for my 10 years with Openlands at our board meeting. The same board member who called this to the board's attention, also spoke with me before the meeting. He told me how sincerely proud he was of me and my accomplishments. I am never good at thinking on my feet, so I simply said thank you with a tiny tear in my eye - when I could have said so more.

A week ago, I told a friend I wasn't sure what to make of being with one organization for so long, but I concluded with "well, I'm happy, and that means something right?"

It's the people who go beyond being my coworkers and my board volunteers. It's their passion for our work and their compassion for one another. Even after a particularly stressful week, I still feel blessed of where I am. My salary helps our family, to be sure, but beyond that, I've made a conscience decision of where to work. It is a place that remembers that family comes first and fits with my lifestyle. And, truth be told, it feels good to knock things off of my to-do list at work when home can be so...messy.

As I was leaving work, headed for the elevator, I told a co-worker with a tired smile, "All I want to do is go home and climb under the covers."

"But, instead, you have to go home to care for two little people," she said, reading my mind.

Yet then she went on, past my own thoughts.

"Two people whose favorite person in the whole world is you."

And so I am carried on. Work is hard and work is rewarding but motherhood is still the greatest job for me.

I was immediately put to the test - Jack was a grump. With our strategic planning process at work, we're learning a lot about the "presenting issue" - the real issue behind the issue. This can be applied to parenting.

Jack was upset about Maria leaving with his second booster seat but I know underneath it all, he was just tired and needed his mama's cuddles. And again, I carry on, as I held him, hoping and praying I'm making the best choices by working full-time and still trying to be the best hands-on mama I can be for my kids.

That's all the best we can hope for, right? That we are making the best choices for ourselves and for our families. And that everything evens out in the long run.

Happy Friday, gentle readers.

Fully realized kind of day

I promised myself I wouldn't do retro-blogging. If a day went by and I didn't write down my thoughts for that day, so be it.

But I'm breaking my rules. Today is Monday, and I have to write about last Friday.

Friday morning, I was sitting in the Museum of Contemporary Art's darkened auditorium in the last row next to my friend and fellow board member for a group we volunteer with. We're both in dresses, legs crossed. At our feet are programs for the event our group has sponsored, along with index cards and pens for the audience's questions. She's quietly clicking away on her Blackberry, and I feel this urge to lean over and give her a squeeze. She was the last friend who had visited me in the hospital before Jossie was born. She's a fundraiser for the medical center I was at and not only held my hand but had ensured I was getting the right people to look in on me. I remember her clicking away on her phone in my hospital room, working hard to get my questions answered.

And here we were Friday on a lovely October morning, being so normal. Wearing nametags and networking over coffee and danish with fellow fundraisers. Listening to a program that challenged me to think creatively about my fundraising profession and reminded me of the strong connections forged with others in this field. Happy to be here.

After the morning lecture, I was desperate to finish a grant proposal that was due that day. I had to pick up Jack at 11:45 a.m. from preschool, so rather than go into the office, I decided I would work along Michigan Avenue to save time.  I ended up in the lobby of Prentice. They have free wi-fi, good tea and vegan muffins (taste better than they sound) and I liked the idea of being there and being able to leave any old time I wanted. I also liked know that Jossie was at home and not in 1082E on the 10th floor.

Halfway through the proposal, I realize it's time to fetch Jack. He's still young enough that I can kiss his face over and over in front of his friends when I get to his school, and he's not embarrassed. I like that. We don't need to be home until 12:30 p.m., so Jack and I do some seriously fast shopping at 900 N. Michigan. I score a new winter coat and gloves.

On our way out, Jack declares he'd rather take a cab than a bus. Yes, this comes from a 3-year-old. We end up taking a cab because we're far from the bus stop. And I think it's fun to teach a preschooler how to hail a cab.

We're home, and Maria sticks around and eats lunch with us. I love when she does that - it's nice to stop and have time to chat with her. Jossie is asleep, and I'm banking on Jack taking a nap too so I can finish my proposal. That doesn't happen. He yutzes around, watching TV, as I type away at my laptop, frantically emailing drafts to my co-worker to ensure I'm making sense. This proposal is for one of my favorite families who funds our work, so I want to give them my best.

Proposal gets sent, and Jossie is up. After a change and a bottle, we're headed to the pediatrician to our beloved Dr. Hong. It's Jossie's nine-month check-up, and Jossie girl is 25% percentile for weight (17 lbs 6 oz), 50-75% for length, and 50% for head circumference for her actual age. Also 100% in awesome hair; here's a picture taken a week ago:

We end the day by visiting Jeremy's office and seeing his co-workers and then a yummy dinner at Epic Burger. There's a young family sitting next to us - their infant baby is seated in a high chair, her Tiny Diner spread out, and appropriate finger foods and sippy cup are offered. I look over at my Jossie, my second, who is sitting in Jeremy's arms, playing with a paper napkin.

What was good about today? It was a good mix. I got to have my volunteer work, my work and my kids. Seeing people I care about and who care about me. And shopping. I've missed you, shopping.

As working mamas, we don't always get days like these - feeling that balance. And I had it, at least for a day.

One for the road

Today I took my first business trip since my 1998 jaunt to a printing plant in Winston-Salem, NC as the then-yearbook editor at Northwestern. My big adventure today wasn’t so big – a day trip to Milwaukee for a land trust conference via Amtrak.  Woo-wee.

I never really experienced the highs and lows of business travel – the late-night sing-a-longs in a lonely hotel lobby I’m assuming you people do, so this experience was quite the novelty. Even after spilling a cup of coffee on myself in the wee hours of the morning on the train, I still chuckled when Jeremy texted me that both kids were awake and ready to start their day at 5:40 a.m. Ah, peace and quiet, how I’ve missed you, gentle friends.

And it was a really productive day – I attended two great sessions that hopefully will help me grow professionally and, in turn, help my organization. I also met some nice people and – Jeremy – if we’re ever in Missoula, Montana, I have a friend we can stay with.

Yet my mind always goes back to my first and most dear profession: Motherhood. And in honor of my good friend who’s going to be a first-time mama soon and is a seasoned business traveler, I present without further adieu:

Universal truths about motherhood and business travel:

1. No matter where you are or what time you woke up, it’s magical to watch the sun rise.
2. Always wear black; it hides stains (please see coffee spill above).
3. Anti-bacterial wipes are indispensible.
4. Calories still count so make good food choices.
5. You can never have too many tissues or napkins (please see coffee spill above).
6. People get grumpy when they are hungry and tired.
7. Playing nice always gets you further – you never know when you’ll need an ally or a buddy to help you out.
8. Make sure your batteries are always charged.
9. Expect and welcome diversions from the original plan.
10. A beer at the end of the day never hurt anyone.

What would you add? C’mon, give me your best.

My day

Maria and I exchanged texts today about how the day was going and how pick-up went at preschool. We basically can read each other's mind at this point, so our correspondence is brief. As I signed off with a "thanks!" I realized I should focus my attention back on my organization's board meeting, given I was just about to speak about Openlands' fundraising goals for the coming year.

I'm very aware of my many worlds lately and my traversing from one to the next.  I start the morning in a sleepy state, often waking up to a cat sleeping on my pillow and a preschooler, clad in Buzz Lightyear pjs, elbowing me. Minutes later, I have my infant daughter tucked under my arm as I'm trying to pour my first cup of coffee for the day.

I'm at school with Jack for the morning drop-off, watching him play with his friends, trying to figure out which one is Oscar, whom he talks about at home. I say hello to my fellow mommys and we discuss our concerns about the kids playing outside in the courtyard next to the busy Michigan Avenue. I give Jack one last hug before dashing for the bus.

The bus gives me five minutes to be by myself. I check my email; I look out the window; I think about my day. As I walk the two blocks to my office from the bus stop, I notice a businessman playing a game of chess with a homeless man.

I'm at work, talking grant proposal deadlines, donor cultivation and stewardship and someone's net worth. My workplace is comfortable; I forget to change out of my sneakers for the entire day, and that's okay. One of Jack's watercolor paintings decorates my office.  Things are stressful as we discuss budgets and the new year.

I'm at home for the evening - where the real marathon begins. Dinner, baths, bedtimes, cleaning up of toys and resetting the house for a new day. Sometimes we open a bottle of wine and sometimes I blog.

Where did today take you?

Still standing!

So my best intentions for chronicling the weekend through photo and video were dashed by the madhouse of activity that ensued. You know - the typical insanity of driving around the North Shore, terrorizing little bakeries to make me cookie platters RIGHT NOW, which comes with special events planning.

I'm grateful to my parents for keeping Jack and Jossie, so Jeremy could fly (safely) to New York to do his thing and I could do the aforementioned bakery terrorizing. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

And without further adieu, here are the two pictures I did take this weekend with my phone. The first is the fully accessible trail that winds along the lake bluff, with majestic views of Lake Michigan. I was walking the path with my best friend Amy and her daughter Cate when I took this.

And this one is from our Sunday night benefit, which had the theme of a French country picnic. We rolled up the sides of the tent and let the delicious lake breezes in. My phone was in one hand and a glass of white wine was in the other.

And here's a picture I stole from a board member - my favorite part of the weekend was seeing the almost-full moon's reflection off of Lake Michigan. Heavenly.

Mixed emotions

It's 6:45 a.m., and I'm checking email, nursing a baby and writing a blog post. Sounds about right for myself these days.

Our grand opening of the Openlands Lakeshore Preserve is today and tomorrow - hence the lack of posts in the last couple of weeks. I've been working on this opening since I returned from maternity leave in early April. I'm honored to be a part of a wonderful team who is making this weekend and the Preserve happen. The weather is looking good, and we are ready.

As the retrospectives for 9/11 play on TV, I enter this weekend with one part concern and two parts feeling blessed. My concern is that Jeremy has to fly tomorrow on 9/11 to New York for business. He will be fine, but I don't love it nonetheless.

Okay, on to the fun stuff: I'm blessed that my parents are driving here right now and I get to spend the weekend surrounded by them and my children, spending time looking inward and being reminded of what's most truly important to me.

I also get to participate in a weekend of activities at the Preserve. The Preserve is situated on a working military base. About 400 Naval families are stationed here, and we've invited them to participate in our open house today. It's nice to be part of something bigger than my own little life this weekend, spending time looking outward, enjoying nature with a lot of people.

I'm armed with my camera and my Flip - hopefully to capture some of the weekend for you. And after this weekend, I'm looking at some exciting things for my writing here - beautifying the blog design and I'm potentially entering a partnership to learn more about local farming, so I can bring you some original, firsthand information about feeding your family local, healthy foods without breaking the bank.

Happy Saturday! Here's a picture from the Preserve's lake bluffs, which my colleague just took:

So....

...here I am. Back at work. It's almost like this crescendo building as I walk to the L, high-five my favorite CTA worker, take the train, ride up the elevator with a woman who I tell it's my first day back and she wishes me good luck, walk through the door of my office and plop down at my desk. So.

I think I need a round of the glad game to get me through this day:

• The love and support of Jeremy, who is taking a half-day today to be with the kiddos this afternoon.
• The love and support of my family and friends.
• My son who keeps me laughing with his antics - this morning, all of his toothbrushes (he has three - don't ask) were furry. I asked why. He told me, "I brushed Roscoe!"
• My sweet baby girl who slept from 8:30 p.m. to 3 a.m. last night and who had a really good morning today.
• A wonderfully warm workplace that supports family life. AND today is filing and pizza day, my favorite day of the year.
• The promise of milder temperatures and sunshine tomorrow. Jeremy and I are already planning for breakfast at Xoco and an afternoon outing to the Chicago Botanic Garden with Jack and Jossie.
• The Internet for shopping - I'm trying to buy everything online as a working mom of two - groceries, baby supplies, you name it. Even with shipping, I honestly think it will cost me less in the long-run - no impulse-buying. I'll let you know how it goes.

One of my co-workers asked me how I was doing this morning. When she asked me the same question three years ago, after my return from maternity leave with Jack, I burst into tears. I'm holding my own better today. I do have some strong emotions about the work I'm faced with - I left so early I didn't have to time to plan for my maternity leave and get things organized. And this is the last place I was before being admitted to the hospital. I'm working through all of that and taking things one day at a time.

A mommy feat

Sometimes I get these crazy ideas and sometimes they actually work, which is a blessing.

6 a.m. Thursday morning, this morning. I wake up to a dark house with toddler feet in my face. Jeremy's out of town; Jack was crying in the middle of the night, and I barely remember bringing him into my bed. He wakes up - soon, we're both out of bed and going through the morning routine.

Now here's where my crazy idea comes in. Jack is accompanying me to work this morning - my dentist is in the same building as my office, and my doctor, who is a young dad, asked me to bring Jack along to get used to the dentist's office and he said he would check out Jack's smile. I tote along a bag loaded with my work stuff, one diaper, three play cars and Jack's play camera.  We take the L the two stops to Mommy's office. Jack gets smiles from normally dour morning faces on the train. When we exit the train, everyone else makes a beeline for the street, but Jack insists on standing and watching the train leave the station.

Being in public with Jack often reminds me how my world has become a Mork & Mindy episode. "Oooooh, Chicago," Jack exclaims as we emerge from the underground train station into the crowds on the busy city sidewalk. "Look at that tall building." As we cross State Street, the surliest of traffic cops actually waves to Jack; I have to do a double-take. We explore the wonder of the revolving door to Mommy's work building and off we go to the 19th floor to visit the dentist.

All of my trepidation is gone as I'm in the dentist's chair. Jack is enthralled - the hygienist has given him a seat next to me, and he gets to hold the tools. She patiently explains everything she is doing; he doesn't even have time to pull anything too naughty. Jack allows the hygienist to examine his mouth as well. I couldn't have asked for a better experience - they encouraged me to bring him one more time before he gets his first real cleaning.

So all is well - next stop is Mommy's office on the 16th floor where Jack knows the location of every candy jar. What really makes this crazy idea feasible is that Maria the super-nanny has agreed to pick him up downtown, and my nannyshare friend Whitney has also signed off on the idea. We have some time before Maria arrives, and again, it works out well. I'm thankful for a workplace that embraces my child and even though we have a board meeting happening at noon, everyone is totally calm and cool with a toddler running amok. Jack settles in to some Sesame Street clips on my computer while I prep a few things for my meeting.

Maria soon arrives and whisks Jack away (thank you again, Maria). I'm back upstairs to present at our board meeting and mingle with board members.

The day's almost done and I have survived....in heels and maternity stockings, no less!

(This post is dedicated to my sister Dayna who joins the ranks of working mommys tomorrow.)

I'm no Wonder Woman

Despite owning a pair of Wonder Woman underoos when I was 6 years old (here's a grown-up version, which are kind of awesome) and the WW mug that sits upon my desk, I am not her.

I went to work today, feeling overwhelmed. Jeremy is out of town, and Jack woke up during the night. I'm feeling a little under the weather anyways and I had a lot of work to do. Blessedly, I got through it all: a work colleague and I kicked butt at a funder meeting (she told us we have a 99.9% chance of getting the grant); another friend and I completed a presentation for tomorrow; and my realtor called to say we have a showing on our condo tomorrow night. Score. Rock and roll.

After work, I get to my friend's house tonight to pick up Jack. He looked tired and played out. He had scrapes all over his knees, which Maria had already given me the heads' up on. But, man, it broke my heart to see all of those scrapes and to know at the moment when he feel down, I wasn't there to pick him up. And that hurt.

I know I can't beat myself up, but it's just really, really hard to not be able to do it all with my superpowers.

To the brink and back again

Whoa - I am so overwhelmed with work lately. I want to call some of my fundraising friends and ask them if they feel like they are doing three jobs, as I feel. I was really at a breaking point yesterday, and I think I just needed - literally - a break. Jeremy was great to go home first to take care of Jack, so I decided to walk halfway home before grabbing the bus. As I crossed the Wabash Avenue bridge over the Chicago River, the wet snow pelting my face, I felt a bit of peace. Finally! A moment to myself that didn't include work or home. Crazy, I know, but it felt good to mix up the routine a little.

I'm done, thankfully

Since Labor Day, I have had three major work events (like major...weekend-long activities....700-guest luncheons...), guests (whom I love) every weekend in October, one trip to Cleveland and one two-year-old's birthday party. And I have an extremely lovable cat who likes to wake me up at 4 a.m. on a regular basis. I am tired, gentle reader. I fell so asleep during an afternoon nap yesterday that I didn't even notice when Jack started covering me in toys. I woke up cradling his ukelele.

But I am done. Yes, I still have work, a toddler and the holidays soon upon us (get ready for some turkey placecards, people) but life is calming down. I'm looking forward to the upcoming weekend. All of my favorite activities: organizing closets, getting a facial and a date with Jeremy. Give me a call if you want to catch up!

A Tale of Two Events

Saturday morning prelude

Jack and I are standing at the sinks in my bathroom, brushing our teeth. I asked him how old he is and he looks at me solemnly and says "two."

Act one

A late-morning birthday party with five toddlers, one newborn and an assorted group of parents drinking coffee. Jack's sitting seriously by the Old Town School of Folk Music teacher who is trying to engage the children in singing. They are not buying it. Lots of birthday cake ground in the carpet, sippy cups strewn about and one dear little friend shredding birthday tissue paper.

Act two

The sun sets, I'm standing in my lovely new dress and heels on the beach of the Openlands Lakeshore Preserve at a donor event, a kir royale made with Veuve Clicquot in hand. A program on the night sky, so we have telescopes and binoculars. Lake Michigan is still as glass; it's a crisp, cool autumn event and we dine in a heated, clear-topped tent.

Saturday night postlude

I snuggle under the covers; Jeremy is watching ESPN. This was truly the ultimate working mommy day...of course you can guess what my favorite event was.

Mommyhood vs. work

Yes, I'm going to solve that eternal question in this post, gentle reader. Okay, just a few observations. Jack and I accompanied Jeremy to Northwestern University's campus today. Jeremy and I met there during college and we both graduated from the journalism program. Jeremy sat in a graduate class today, helping the students with their final presentation, as a favor to their professor and our friend. Our friend asked me if I would also like to participate. Jack obliged for a bit, sitting quietly in my lap as the presentation began, but he soon got restless, so out the door we went. Before leaving, I whispered one piece of feedback to Jeremy to pass along the students. Jack and I spent the next 1.5 hours walking around campus, finding every button we could push and admiring the construction work.

Maybe it's because Jack is a toddler, but this was a very tedious exercise for me. Most of me wanted to be back in that darkened classroom, listening to the students. But I was here with my little guy. I have these grand plans of someday staying home with my babies but today truly gave me pause. I love Jack with all of my self, but sometimes - okay most of the time - I feel like I'm a better mom because I work outside of the home. Grass is always greener, eh?

***

I live in Chicago, so traversing to Evanston back to my old college stompin' grounds is not a big deal. But I hadn't really brought Jack there and it was pretty weird/poignant to bring him around campus. There's the place your daddy and I almost broke up...there's the building where I had my very first class as a freshman...here's the path I walked nightly home from the yearbook office (yes, I was that cool).

(Editor's note: I'm now using real names...those cutesy nicknames for my husband and son are just not me.)

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon buttermilk cake

My work has been incredibly busy lately - we are currently in the middle of a campaign, in addition to fundraising for our annual fund. In this economic climate, it's been certainly interesting. My organization - a conservation nonprofit - is also currently undergoing a strategic planning process, which adds yet another layer of work. And did I mention my development staff consists of me, 1 full-time person and 1 part-time person?

My respite is my baking. This weekend, I made Cooking Light's Glazed Lemon Buttermilk Cake. It's a fairly simple recipe and always gets big wows.