Wednesday, February 2, 2011

My snow day

I wasn't entirely here today. My mind was floating above me, thinking about our situation and our little girl. I helped Jack to build a fort of blankets and pillows, and we made buttermilk pancakes together in the morning, but otherwise Jeremy was the chief caregiver as I quietly organized Jack's baby clothes by age and pulled things out that Jossie could use. I pulled Jack's room apart, organizing each drawer, and the project got bigger and messier as the day wore on. I did countless loads of laundry and am just finishing up now as the evening news signs off.

 I was really thrown for a loop at the news received early today but am comforted by remembering a few things.

To quote Maria, I'm one of the lucky ones. My girl is healthy; she's a preemie and her brain just needs to develop a bit more to master the body's functions. She's in one of the best hospitals in the country and is getting the best care possible. And she's so young right now that she will never remember these moments.  And for all of us, this will soon be behind us, and our family of four will be home under one roof.

Okay - just one moment of sadness: My first night away from Jack was when he was almost 19 months old. It breaks my heart to think about how I haven't been with Jossie overnight in these early weeks of her life, and today, with all of the snow, I haven't seen her in more than 24 hours. I'm drawing strength from my nearest and dearest to get through this moment.

But here's something sweet to end on: Jeremy's sister Cassie got engaged tonight! I don't have all of the details but we are just thrilled for her and Daniel, who Jack has been calling Uncle Daniel for months now. Sweet indeed!

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