Oops. I can't write a post like my last one and then going MIA from the blogosphere for a few days. I've had my nearest and dearest calling and sending emails to check in - thank you for that.
Honestly, writing my last post has made me feel better - to put my feelings to written word. I'm moving forward. This week has been busy, caring for two small kids at home. Life's been mostly very normal - teaching Jack how to play train with a line of empty chairs and nursing Jossie nonstop (seriously, I feel like a human pacifier). And it's been a bit not normal. Jeremy and I are looking at two preschools for Jack this week. It's a bit surreal still realizing I'm a parent, let alone a parent who has a child old enough for school.
And, yes, I'm not completely healed yet. I dwell on Jossie being a preemie. We were in the elevator of our condo building the other day and a man leaned over and smiled at my baby girl. "She's a few weeks old?" he asked. "Yes," I replied, "but she's a preemie. That's why she is so small." When someone asked me if I was going to do a parent-infant class with Jossie in the fall, I said, "Of course not. She's a preemie." At the grocery store today, I almost asked the grocery bagger to stop touching my groceries because she was obviously sick and I have a preemie at home.
I even bought a baby scale so I can keep tabs on her weight. 5 lb 10 oz, in case you are wondering.
So I'm getting there - just taking my time. Getting ready to pass by March 7 - Jossie's due date - and just move on and grow this little girl as much as I can.